For so many years I was unable to remember so many memories from my childhood. People use to say to me, "Remember when we were kids?" or "Do you remember when...?" And my response would be a smile and nodding my head "yes", but the truth is I had no recollection of any memories. I had been told that my mind had blocked my memories as a defense mechanism, to protect myself. It wasn't until I found one of my childhood friends on Facebook that I made it my goal to remember my lost memories.
My friend, I will refer to her as "TC", had mentioned that she still had a gift that I had given to her when we were children, and how it has always had a special place in her heart. I was touched to know that she had kept this keepsake for over 30 years. But I was also heart-broken that I could not remember it. She described it, but I did not remember buying it or anything about it. My heart-break continued as I could not remember the wonderful memories she would write to me about. She was my best friend from the time I was 5 years old until I was 9 years old. We were with each other almost every day. We lived in the same apartment complex, we were on the 3rd floor, they were on the 7th, I believe. My sister and TC's brother were the same age, and I was the same age as her other brother. TC was 1 year younger than me, but my very best friend nonetheless.
TC was that teeny tiny SPARK that unleashed it all. It wasn't all at once, but it was the start of what has SNOWBALLED my memories coming back to me. These memories are both good and bad. But I am so thankful that they are back. So TC, thank you for being my friend and being my "spark"!
The snowball continued to roll with my desire to know more about my own family, my family genealogy, my family's history. I was able to reach out to family members that I hadn't seen since I was a young child, and also family members that I had never met before. From this, our first Arevalo Family Reunion happened in Las Vegas in 2010. I met Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins with the same love for family that I have. To know that I have family members that love and support me, what a wonderful feeling! My love and appreciation for my Aunts and Uncles has never been stronger. They have shown me that not all "family" is bad and unsupportive. They have shown me that no family is perfect, but it's important to be there for each other in our times of need. And they have been there for me in my times of emotional need. Thank you Arevalo family for loving and supporting me!
Given the family stories, I decided to go to my parents' home and retrieve the piles of pictures that I had avoided for years. I brought these pictures to my home, but I didn't go through them. I didn't look at them because I was afraid. I was afraid of not being able to remember, I was afraid of what I would remember, I was afraid of what I was going to tell my husband, and I was just afraid of what would happen if I did remember. Would I loose my relationship with my own family members? So, I let them sit in the boxes until I was ready. Until I was ready to remember the truths about my life that needed to be unlocked. It was almost a year before I opened up the boxes. I finally wanted to remember EVERYTHING! The GOOD, the Bad, and even the Ugly. And as I opened up the boxes I started to remember the GOOD, which has out-weighed the Bad and Ugly memories. These pictures would often have me in tears as I looked at them, even as I look at them today. Not all sad tears of course, but happy tears. Tears of happiness, because I remembered.
